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Are other people ruling you?

Just imagine! You are excited about starting something new – a new project, a new job, a new relationship, a new journey that you’ve never embarked upon.  Suddenly the naysayers appear and give you a host of reasons why you shouldn’t proceed to whatever it was you were about to do. They have rules that will clearly define all the whys and why nots of your next step… least in their mind it should. The rules don’t support what you want to do but dictate HOW you should do what you want to do  – according to them.  The rules don’t include any reason why you should proceed, but rather give a whole list of reasons why you shouldn’t. And what happens next?  You start second guessing your very own self. Your excitement bubble is busted. Your joy is gone. And you’ve now sunk back to the start up corner trying to have a conversation with yourself about what you should do next – while mulling over and internalizing all the stuff other people had to say.  There’s a difference between concern from others that can help you avoid unnecessary hurt, pain, and pitfalls – and plain moaning from others who oftentimes have no zest and motivation of their own to get up and do something new and exciting.  Stay focused. Keep going!


Can you relate? How did you overcome a situation where a person insisted that you couldn’t – but you did?


This Post Has 6 Comments

  1. Well I can’t say that I had someone tell me a list of reasons why. However I had my first doctor chair who tried to tell me he couldn’t understand how I had made it through the program at that point. Yet at that point I had a 3.9 GPA and I ended the program with a 3.9 GPA! But he, like any other naysayer I have, always made me realize things such as my strong faith in God and all of the positive reinforcements my parents have always instilled in me since I could remember. When you put that together that just builds me with persistence, perseverance, and tenacity and I’m unstoppable! So naysayers don’t affect me because I’ve been so grounded in that for so so long! And these are the types of things we instill as a family in our next Generation – my niece and nephews. They also don’t let naysayers affect them because they’ve just been grounded and knowing that they have the ability to do whatever they set their minds to since they were born. Positive reinforcement is an absolute must! When you constantly reinforce your mind with positivity nothing else can enter in!

    1. This serves as a great message as to why parents and the extended family must instil a great sense of self-worth into the children. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Upon reading this piece I had to spend time reflecting and processing, does anybody rule my life? And as I think, I don’t think anyone has ever tried to be a naysayer in my life. Every endeavour I have put participated in, all my friends encourage me. In fact I don’t recall having any friend in my life or family member in my life being the individual that tells me that I cannot do.
    I have found that I get great support from everyone in my life, from performing, applying for jobs, even exercise; I have been supported in those efforts.
    I am thankful for those persons who always believe in me even when I don’t believe in myself because I find that I am my greatest critic, I am my greatest naysayer, however having supportive persons in my life has provided me with the opportunity to be successful in everything I do attempt.
    It’s the Law of Attraction, if you are positive and supportive than, you won’t be surprised to find yourself surrounded by like minded people. By the same token, if you are a naysayer, if you are not comfortable with growth and support, then those are the same kind of people you will find in your circle.
    So if you find that someone is always trying to rule your life, ask yourself what signal are you sending?
    If there are any errors, I apologise I am writing this without my glasses.

    1. Excellent feedback and you have left great food for thought for those who may need that extra boost to “keep on truckin'” Thanks!

  3. Hmmmm I have read the topic over and over and have reflected on 2 Big events in my life where I thought I had the support of friends, family, and in fact the community based on the words of encouragement and the phrases such as “Go for it!” “So proud of you” etc. etc. Only to search high and low looking for them to really support. They watched from a distance clapping and cheering me on when things looked like they were going well. They never stepped into that space to really get involved as if they feared to be associated with something that would become a failure. Instead of investing in their own they invested in like ventures which were of the same platform.
    I concluded from my experiences that we as Bermudians are a jealous people and hate to know that we are lining the pockets of a friend even though you were going to spend that money anyway. I have watched it with many small businesses who have the same merchandise sometimes better quality than their Larger competitors but struggle to have the support of friends and family. This lack of support hits many people here in Bermuda in so many industries. I can list so many but I won’t……The pondering question to myself and others is Why won’t we work together to support our own. Why do we support only those things that are already popular from other countries. Why won’t we really celebrate the success of one another? Is it jealousy? We smile and say Congratulations but that’s where the BUCK stops.

    1. You’ve raised quite a lot of questions that have been asked for many years. Through it all, I am so happy to see how you overcame the naysayers and continued anyway! Well done. You are a shining example to so many that are stuck……..May someone be motivated by your story.

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